Your tits are I can't wait for
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
