like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize