When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Too much gin, very little bucket
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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