im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize