My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
