Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
