This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
only if we run a train.
done.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
