i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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