great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
