The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
