He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize