i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
