I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
