Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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