oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
