it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
