Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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