You really coming over, don't trick.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
