I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
