we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
