I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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