OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
