I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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