Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
