a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
