bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
