porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I will be naked everywhere
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize