And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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