Do you still have your period?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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