i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Randomize
