Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
