I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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