Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
