I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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