Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
