we're blogging at a bar
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
