I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
