One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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