Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize