Can Purell be used as lube?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
