Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
