I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
