i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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