Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
