i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
