I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize