no. you can't hotbox the world.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
