Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
