i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
