Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
