i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
