I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
