he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
