drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
