Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
