it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
