just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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