Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
