I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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