Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
