I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize