I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
