I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
