Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
