idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
