maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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