But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
