I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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