wakey wakey hands off snakey
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
