Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
