my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
