...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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