I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
