dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
