Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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