so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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