Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
